Phangirls
by Catherine Morland
Summary: Erik, Christine, and Raoul have performed POTO. The Phangirls strike again!


Summery: After Erik, Christine, and Raoul have actually performed The Musical Phantom of the Opera. Do not get confused with Don Juan Triumphant. Just for my amusement, I brought them into the future to put on POTO for us. Follow the 'adventures' of Erik, Christine, Raoul, and...3 phangirls!!! Warning: May cause very very random bouts of insanity. Don't say I didn't warn you!!! Disclaimer: I own nothing. All I own are the little voices inside me. Don't take them away. Pleeease!!! I also own my Inner Insanity, Inner Conscience, and Inner 5-Year Old. They're names are (in order): Luna, Elizabeth, and Roxie. ( My Insanity is 13 years old. My Conscience is 21. My Inner 5 Year Old, is, well, 5.)  
  
Erik

I had just gone back to the auditorium, expecting people who want pictures and autographs of 'The Phantom'. Suddenly I heard a shriek from my right. "It's Erik!"

I turned my head to see (surprise, surprise) three girls, looking like they were mustering all their attempts not to tackle me.

'Phans," I thought, 'They're everywhere.'

As they got closer, I realized they were all wearing matching outfits – jeans, and a Phantom of the Opera T-shirt. They all had mask pins, matching mask bracelets, necklaces, and rings (except for one girl, who had a...blue plastic ring with a teddy bear and a heart on the top); they even had matching Phantom hats. I looked down half expecting to see Phantom of the Opera shoelaces. They all had them. I was almost surprised they all didn't have Punjab Lassos swinging from their belt loops.

Finally they stepped up, taking pictures frantically. They asked a passerby to take some pictures of them with me. I was almost going blind from all eight flashes, and then there were 16 more. I was rolling my (partially blind) eyes behind the mask when one of them stepped up hopefully.

"Do you have a spare mask that I can have?"

"Lizzie!" One of the other girls playfully whacked her.

Then she stepped up hopefully. "Do you have a spare Punjab Lasso I can steal, um, I mean have?"

"Katie!" Lizzie shrieked.

I shook my head. "Neither, I'm afraid."

"Aw, dang." Lizzie sighed.

"It's okay, Lizzie. Let's go to my house after this," Katie comforted her. "We have way too many spare cats in my neighborhood."  
The last and silent was (who had been staring at me without blinking...which was getting a little freaky after five minutes straight) fell to the floor. Lizzie looked down at her. "Jenni's gone." Katie looked down, too, and shrugged.

Turning back to me, she asked, "Can I try on your mask?" "I doubt it would fit you, but all right." I got this request a lot. I handed it to her, and she took it as if it were sacred. Which, I suppose, to her it was. She put it on very carefully, and when it was in place (which it fit very well, surprisingly) she smiled and gave the best maniacal laugh I've ever heard.

"That was good." I complimented. "Thanks." Katie said, "It should be, I practice it every day."

"Will you sign my shirt?" Lizzie asked.

"Um, your shirt's all black. I don't think it'll show up." I replied. She handed me a wite-out pen. These girls were prepared.

After I signed her shirt, Katie handed me back the mask and stepped up to have her shirt signed, too. They thanked me, grabbed Jenni (who was still out cold), and trekked off, probably to terror Raoul, still shooting me glances over their shoulders. Poor guy. As I strained to here what they said (I would go to the police if I needed to) I realized they were arguing.

"Why are we going to see Raoul? He's a fop!" Lizzie protested.

"No, see, we play tricks on him. That's the fun part. We get to terrorize the fop."

"Like what kind of tricks?"

"Like...taking pictures of him, and then screwing up the pictures!"

"How?"

"Well...you know what Sarah did to that picture of Dory?"

"You mean, drew in a cigarette?"

"Yeah!"

"I've got a good idea," Lizzie offered. "What?"

"Paint his nails pink."

'Too late for that,' I thought. 'He beat them to it.'

"Good thinking, Lizzie." They trotted off happily. I shook my head. I didn't want to know.  
  
Raoul

I had just barely stepped out of my dressing room, examining my newly painted pink nails, when I heard noises from further down the hall.

I looked down the hall and saw three girls. Two of them were holding the third back, who was making snorting noises and muttering under her breath.

One of them who was holding the girl back rubbed her head. "Jenni, you okay?"

"Ouch. God, he gives off the strongest fop vibes." Jenni replied. She pulled back harder on the third girl. "Katie, Katie, listen to me. We must not attack the fop. We must not attack the fop."

I smiled delightedly. Finally, some Raoul fan girls! They never came to visit me. I guess they were too intimidated by me. I started strutting. I still hadn't figured out why they called me fop (much less what it meant), but I assumed it was something of a pet name.

I surveyed the girls again. None of my fans were this serious. They never had to restrain themselves to keep from hugging me.

Suddenly, Katie fell down, clutching her head. "They're pink!" she wailed, "His nails are pink!"

I assumed she was jealous. "Yes, isn't it a pretty color?" I surveyed my nails happily.

The other girls fell down too. "He talked! The pain, the pain!"

Wow, I never knew how much of a teenage heartthrob I was. Today was getting better and better. Finally, the other girl stood up.

"Lizzie, help me up." Katie asked.

Lizzie helped them both to stand up, and Jenni grabbed the camera, taking a couple shots of me. I beamed at them. "Anything for me to autograph?" They exchanged a look, then Katie held out her hand timidly, while Jenni handed me the wite-out pen.

After I signed her hand, she held it as far away from her body, so not to smudge it. They walked off (without saying goodbye!), Katie with a funny dazed look on her face. "How easily does wite-out wash out?" she asked them. I smiled again and continued on my way.  
  
Christine

Hearing the giggling from down the hall, I immediately surmised the girls who were about to confront me. 3 phangirls. When they timidly stepped up to me, as though I would throw things at them and yell that I hated Erik, and wouldn't dream of marrying him...or more, quietly asking me the question every single phangirl asked me, I was ready.

"Why did you go off with the fop and not Erik?" They asked.

I went over my well-rehearsed lines, "Well, I really don't know. It was all too much. I guess I was just a little intimidated by Erik's overwhelming power...and Raoul was there to protect me. I just got very confused. Of course, if I could, I would have gone with Erik. He's the much better candidate."

The girls gave each other knowing looks, and I smirked. I could out-smart even the best phans. Finally, one of them turned to me, and said: "You know, if you tell yourself a lie long enough, it feels true?"

The other two girls laughed as my jaw dropped.

"Who are you?" I sputtered.

She stuck out her hand for me to shake, "Your most humble and obedient servant, Catherine Morland. Well, that's just my pen name. That's not my real name. My real name is Catherine too, but Morland isn't my last name. Morland is Catherine Morland's last name...you know, from Northanger Abby by Jane Austen?" She rattled off another 6 minutes and 43 seconds of obviously well- rehearsed junk. Finally she finished with: "But you can call me Katie." "Who are they?" I asked, gesturing toward the other two phangirls.

One of them stepped in right as Katie was preparing to open her mouth again. "I'm Laura Johnson. That's my pen name. I really wanted my pen name to be Lily Johnson, but it wouldn't work. My real name is Jenni."

The last girl stepped up. "I'm BlackRoseGirl. My real name is Lizzie."

Katie finally got her mouth open again and stepped up, "We're phanphiction writers," she said proudly, "That phanphiction with a P-H."

"And what kind of stuff do you write?" I asked, only talking to keep a hold on my sanity.

"Well..." Katie started, "I write E/C (of course), and humor. I'm trying to break into the morbid stuff, though." She grinned evilly. Jeez, she's worse than Erik.

"I write E/C romance," Lizzie said, "And angst."

"She really should write humor," Katie cut in, "She's really good."

"I write E/C all the way," Jenni finally had a chance to say, "Romance and angst. My goal is to write the best Rated R E/C romance phanphiction has ever seen." They all grinned again, as I tried to digest this information.

"People write...Rated R stories...about Erik and me?"

"Yup!" Jenni and Katie announced happily. I clutched my head in pain.

"Um...guys?" Lizzie called. "I think she needs to sit down."

Katie grinned. She went over to Lizzie and Jenni and they whispered for a couple of seconds. Finally, Katie took my arm gently and they led me off. Lizzie took off someplace else as Jenni and Katie guided me toward my dressing room. Soon Lizzie was hurrying back...with Erik?

"Christine!" He exclaimed, rushing toward me, as Lizzie, Katie, and Jenni stood back and smirked.

"I feel really...dizzy..." I said. Ow, my head really hurt. So I collapsed onto the nearest available cushion...Erik.

"Oof," he said as all the air was knocked out of him. He gently guided me to sit down on the couch, sitting down with me. I looked up when I had recovered my balance. Jenni was sticking her head through the doorframe, looking at us. She smiled at me, and then disappeared, probably to go back to the other girls and report that it was fine. Ah, well. I didn't see why I had to like the fop anyway. He's an idiot. And he has pink nails. If I'm lucky, he'll run off with Meg or something. I sighed, and snuggled in closer to Erik.


End file.
